Michael has gone from talking about harming the baby, which is disturbing to me but natural (I think), to kissing my belly, talking to Owen and saying sweet things. Recently though, I've been washing all Michael's old baby & toddler clothes. Michael remembers some of them and still thinks he might be able to grow into them. I was trying to explain how you can't grow smaller, only bigger and that Owen will wear his older clothes and we can get Michael some new clothes. (I thought that might make him feel better) He thought about it for awhile and then said very seriously, "Mama, Owen's not a baby. Owen's a pig!" I couldn't stop laughing!
All this makes me wonder though. How do you mother a child through this transition? Michael will be four and a half years old. Old enough to understand many things and yet old enough to be used to having Mom & Dad all to himself. What advice would some of you parents give in how to help Michael feel secure? And more specifically, how to help him through this transition while trying to recover and deal with postpartum. I want what every mother wants~ their children to be friends. How do you facilitate a strong sibling relationship in your own family?
Thinking about having Owen here with us makes me nostalgic for Michael's babyhood. Here's a collage I put together recently with some of my favorite pics, nothing new if you've been a regular here at Chocolate Eyes. I want to make one of these for both Michael and Owen when the time comes.
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What a beautiful name.
ReplyDeleteI can't give much advice on siblings. Eli and Sadie are 14 months apart and I think Eli was too young to realize that there was life before Sadie. And now is not a good time to be asking about nurting a relationship, because they are currently fighting like cats and dogs. So, obviously, it's a day-to-day struggle at our house. I'll keep thinking though!
Oh, Becca. I love your name choice. Solid, simple, sweet. I can't wait to meet the little guy.
ReplyDeleteSiblings...well, mine honestly fight quite a bit these days, BUT I'll qualify that by saying it wasn't always so bad. Grady and Fionna seem to be at opposite stages at the moment, and it heightens it all. However, we've never had problems introducing a new sibling. I worked hard to acknowledge the importance of the older child, the power of the older child to be an active part and helper. And I like to think that we've modeled empathy and love, so it came naturally. Also, when baby is really small, you can use language with the older child that you can't as the baby gets older and understands. So, for instance, while I can't know make too big of a deal of Grady being older and more capable than Ainslie (because she'd pitch a fit), when you've got a true infant, you can talk up that older sib and make them feel powerful and important in their role as the big brother/sister. It is an important, lifelong job. I bet Michael will come to love and protect Owen like no one else. :)
Becca,
ReplyDeleteEmily and grace are 4 1/2 years apart and at times Emily can give Grace a bit of an attitude, but generally they get along great, Emily is motherley and always trying to help Grace, I think the single most importent thing we have done is try to do seperate things with them, we have days that grace goes with Grandma and We do special things with just Emily and vice versa, When grace was first born emily was so excited and thought and still does tink Grace is so cute, Iam sure as they get older they will fight but I have worked very hard at making sure they show eachother how much they love eachother, my sister and I didnt get along and that makes me work harder as a mother, to insure my girls do, i make sure they hug and kiss and tell eachother I love You many times a day Grace tucks emily in bed with us at night, and says goodnight to her.. I have a picture of emily someone took the day I gave birth to Grace, emily is running into the hospital so excited, Every child is different and they all react different you will find a way to adjust, I worked full time when Emily was a baby so she was used to not always having my full attention,, Thats also when we got emily into gymnastics, right before Grace was born, so she would feel she had something of her own, that the new baby couldn,t do just yet, It will be a challange for you, but Im sure it will work out, now talk me out of having another one!
Great tips! Thanks all!
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Sorry Stacey, can't talk you out of it. I'd love to have another niece or nephew! LOL
ReplyDeleteI love the name and the beautiful collage. And don't you worry big brother will probably do a lot of testing along the way but all will be fine. My girls have their off times, but in general are the best of friends. We talk and experience the importance of family all the time and I think they are really understanding this. I just know you are a great and gentle mama and will raise great boys!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa! Thank you all for your great advice.
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