Introvert/ Extrovert

~Introverts, are more reserved, less outgoing, and less sociable. They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts.~

This is me. I’m an introvert. I’m not always very comfortable in most social situations. I enjoy one on one conversation with good friends or small groups of people. Maybe it was growing up in the country, somewhat isolated from other kids, that set me on this path. I learned to enjoy reading and writing stories, drawing, picking flowers, catching crayfish and playing horse chestnut wars with my brothers. Our neighbors were all relatives. My Grandparents lived on a farm on one side of us and my Great Grandparents and Aunt & Uncle on the other side. Growing up I didn’t learn many social skills and maybe I wasn’t interested in learning either. Maybe I was born an introvert. What I do know is that I process information internally, by reading, writing or thinking in silence. These are part truths, part labels I’ve attached to myself, I’m sure. That’s why I try to get out of my comfort zone as often as I can, whether it’s just setting my mind to being social and clicking into a less familiar role or more recently tribal belly dancing. If ever anything can break you out of your mold, dancing publicly will do that!

~Extraverts (also spelled extroverts^[1]) are gregarious, assertive, and generally seek out excitement.~

"Let's go bye, bye!" Michael, 11 mos.

Poor boy looks trapped here and a little bored.

So where did this social butterfly, Michael, come from? I don’t believe it’s an accident that he was sent to us. Michael has been social from the very beginning. When he was very little he would cry when any visitor would leave the house and he would ask incessantly to go “Bye, bye”. Here I was a home body, very content to not leave the house for days. Michael though was constantly at the window looking for visitors, waving and yelling hello to passerbys and their dogs. Because of him I would make the effort, we’d go on walks to the park, to stores, activities, story times, and more.

Michael says hello to everyone, everywhere and conversations inevitably are begun. I can’t be anonymous at the health food store anymore, or get out of the store as quickly as I want to. I know most of the people that work there because of Michael.

The other week, we had such a beautiful encounter. An older woman we didn’t know passed us by at church. She was probably ten feet away when Michael said to me, “I’d sure like to hug her”, she promptly turned around and said “I can arrange that.” She came over and started talking with Michael. She asked him how old he was, to which he replied “twenty-three”, she asked him again, he said “one”. Michael knows how old he is, he plays this fun little game with everyone. She asked him what his name was and after talking a bit asked, “Now, can I have that hug?” He gave her a big bear hug and she said “you just made my week!”

I should mention another aspect of these social encounters that sometimes arise. To this older woman he asked “Where’s your baby?”, and “Do you have a baby in your belly?” He asks everyone this whether you have a pooch or not. He’s very excited about my friend Monica who’s pregnant and thinks everyone must have a baby or be pregnant. To my lament he calls every older woman, or I should say older than me, “Gramma” and every older man “Grampa”. This is usually met with kindness and humor but sometimes the label is not taken well. Such as when an older woman snapped “I am not your Grandma!” Cranky, anyone? The other thing he does is mistakenly call most women “he” and occasionally a guy with long hair “she”. These things are innocent and sweet but my, oh my, do they throw me in the thick of embarrassing social situations. I can only imagine what may come. Kids have a way of boldly pointing out exactly what seems different.

Being Michael’s Mom, I’ve had to learn to appreciate his extroversion. I’ve learned to see small talk as not trivial but appreciate the way in which it connects people. Michael has connected me to a larger community of people and opened up a wonderful part of the world to me.

Michael, 22 mos.

Buddy Morgan & Michael, both 3 1/2 yrs